dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
