I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Liz is crying about burritos again.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
