I think i peed on brittanys purse
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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