btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
