i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
