So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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