dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
