if only i could text you this smell
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
