that's an acceptable place to lick
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
