I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
