i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
