in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize