i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
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