So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
