Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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