What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
