i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
