What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
