I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
