We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I need moral support for this bender
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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