I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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