Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
