How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize