Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize