so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
