You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
