I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
