yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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