If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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