How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
