I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
