i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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