yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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