no, he came in my armpit
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
