Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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