My friends, they love my intelligence
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
