Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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