Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
