time to smoke my breakfast
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
