Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
