I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Duck Duck Cougar?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
