I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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