Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
