In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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