he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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