I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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