i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
