What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
