I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
