No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
