That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
