im about as happy as oj after his trial
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
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