ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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