Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
