She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
