The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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