i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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