my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
