For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
