Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
