You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
