I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
