I hate your face
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
