Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
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