Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
